Tag Archives: self

Eid Reflections 2017

Peace,

Eid Mubarak! Kul ‘am wa antum bi kheir.

The darkness of the night is broken by the dawn, Ramadan for me is that dawn. A new start. The year over we amass baggage. We are hurt or hurt others and ourselves whether physically, emotionally or spiritually. Experience situations that test us to our core, test our goodness, our faith and resolve. Ramadan is that time of the year for me to refocus and recharge, for me to learn and grow and most importantly improve my relationship with God. Ramadan has ended and Eid celebrations are nearing their end, so what have I made of it?

Well, I am a work in progress, nothing told me that more than this month and having both my parents independent of each other (my father visiting for Eid) “tell” me to grow up and find a job within a couple of hours of each other. I have a weakness for knowledge but lack the wisdom to act on it, letting it sit instead in stacks of notebooks. I worry about how much of what I have gained in knowledge this Ramadan I will actually implement this year. Whether I will be able to persevere in the face of the struggles around me and within me.

During the time of the Prophet (saw.) battles taking place in Ramadan were about the inner battle as much as the outer. Similarly, it is about the inner battle against our Nafs (Self) as much if not more so than the outer battle of just giving up food and drink. However, that does not mean that we neglect the outer battle.

As the Prophet (saw.) said:

A strong believer is better and is more lovable to Allah than a weak believer, and there is good in everyone…

This hadith can be understood to mean both spiritual and physical strength. Ramadan has also for many, quite rightly so I think, become a month of eating clean and increasing fitness, as the self is ruined by three things, too much eating, too much talking and too much sleeping and Ramadan destroys all three of those.

On spirituality, Shaykh Omar Suleiman in his Faith Revival series this Ramadan explained that faith are the 6 articles of faith and testifying with the tongue, conviction in the heart and actions with the limbs. A friend of mine who was going through some hardships and knew some of what I was going through, asked me once why some people who do not believe seem to do so well while people who do suffer so much. I wasn’t able to answer, not because I didn’t know that one had nothing to do with the other or as Sh. Suleiman said: “If this world meant as much as the wing of a mosquito to God He would not let a disbeliever have a sip of water from it.” I wasn’t able to answer, because I myself lacked the conviction to act on it.

Supplications (Dua’) aren’t necessarily there to change the reality around us, but to change the reality within us. Our baggage, our loss, our hurt, the difficulties we face are tests of our faith and resolve, are we going to let these crush us or are we going to cry out to God and persevere? Faith isn’t static, it ebbs and flows, we have days and nights where our connection with God is soo intense and days where we struggle to even just pray. The Prophet (saw.) warned us of  waking up in the morning with faith and going to sleep losing it in the evening. The companions never felt themselves safe from falling into hypocrisy even though they were promised paradise because they understood their weaknesses as humans. Doubts are natural, but we always try to achieve faith with certainty and conviction.

As Ibn Masud (ra.) said:

Yaqeen (Certainty) is full Iman.

Which, as explained in the Faith revival series, is done amongst other things by fortifying yourself intellectually and spiritually. That is by learning as much as possible, thereby filling the cracks in understanding of the religion (and the world) and by growing spiritually through experiences so that we know that true fulfillment is felt through faith, that the strongest love is felt for those we love for the sake of Allah (swt.) for example.

The goal is to achieve certainty so that as Ali ra. said:

If I was to see heaven I would not want it as much as I would right now, and if I were to see the hellfire I would not want to stay out of it more than I would now.

 

Indeed a work in progress, this year I intend to work on as my University’s charter says “making knowledge work”, on my faith, on my diligence and work ethic and yes to those who know me in real life my availability too!

O Guardian of faith and its people, allow us to be bound to Islam until we meet you with it. O Allah we ask you for everlasting faith, true certainty and beneficial knowledge. Our Lord do not let our hearts slip after you have guided us and bestow on us from your Mercy.

Wa Salam,

Abdur-Rahman

Be more Confident

Salam Alaykum,

This month of May, of exams and other torture methods, the theme of this blog will be to Be more Confident. This series is quite important to myself, I suffer of a lack of confidence sometimes, of anxieties etc. and during this month I’ll try to find out and learn about what Islam tells us and what the scholars say about Confidence, about Self-Esteem and Anxiety.

I feel this is not just a topic that is of importance to the usual audience, teenagers and young adults such as myself, but also to adults. Those adults that have a problem with asking for time off for Jumuah or the Mo’s at work not wanting to stand out as Muslims or the ones obsessed with their looks, for example. All of this due to their lack of confidence, or due to their fears of being laid off etc. Over the next few posts I will be writing about the issue of lack of confidence and self-esteem, inshaAllah. Today I’m going to, as usual try to set the scene, with some definitions on the topic.

Confidence, as merriam-webster tells us is a feeling or belief that one can do something well or succeed at something. It comes from the middle French confidence from Latin confidentias derived from confido, of which confidere is a verb form. Con- means together and fido means trust. Fido comes from the Proto-Indo-European *bʰeydʰ- meaning (to command, to persuade, to trust). Fides, the Noun also means faith and belief, reliance, confidence and trust. In Arabic, the word that can be used to denote confidence is Thiqah الثقة, self-confidence is thiqah bin Nafs الثقة بالنفس. Another word that will be discussed in more detail in this series is tawakkul تَوَكُل in Allah, having trust, reliance and being confident in Allah swt.

While discussing this it needs to be said, that we’re not talking here about being arrogant, that being confident and having self-confidence is not in conflict with also being humble.

The servants of the Lord of Mercy are those who walk humbly on the earth, and who, when aggressive people address them, reply with words of peace.

[Qur’an 25:63]

I might be inferring things into this verse but it struck me how much this also is about being confident. Yes we are told to walk on this earth humbly, meaning without “swag”, without signs of pride, which is based on some form of seeking attention. People who are confident about themselves don’t need that. They don’t take their sense of self-worth from other people. This is also according to Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan a weakness, but it is towards Allah only not towards other people. The Prophet saw. warned about a time when the Ummah will be plagued by this weakness.

When there is a chance of confrontation, we reply with confidence and with words of peace. The word Jahil is used in this (aggressive people), literally meaning someone who isn’t using their mind. Who is emotional, not thinking about what they’re saying. In these situations the best way is to act non-confrontational, whether it is actually saying Salam or words of Salam. This takes self-confidence and consideration to do correctly, to know what to say in these situations because Jahil must not only be extremely negative but as said can be referred to someone who is emotional, depressed etc.

I’ll have to cut this short here, for today. I hope you’ll find this as beneficial as I do thinking and reflecting on this topic. I apologize if this isn’t as coherent or structured I’ve got exams in a few days.

Wa Salam,

Abdur-Rahman