Argh! Choose man!

I’m frustrated at myself. Can you tell? Just had a hand in getting a friend of mine locked out of his house. The fault of my damn indecision. Let me back of a little.

I am short on money at the moment, not to say I’m completely broke. My friend has been asking the last few days for me to come play football. I haven’t been feeling well the last few days, sleeping a lot, so I missed the games. Turns out quite a few of them were cancelled.

Well today I gave in and said yes, but also said that I’m short on money, he said okay just bring some money for the game, we’ll sort the taxi. He moved on to another topic, before I got a chance to say, I’m broke man. He hung up. I turned my room upside down to find enough money. No such luck.

In the end I managed to scratch up £1.70 out of the £4 it costs. As the time of the game comes nearer my stomach starts hurting I’ve got a slight headache. I spend some time in the bathroom. Thinking of telling him that I’m not coming. Only ten minutes left till I’m supposed to be there, I can’t call it off any more. I don’t think he has enough time to get another player to play.

So I walk down. Making it there I listen to the conversations around me they somehow got a player extra they’re thinking of telling him that he won’t be able to play. I speak up telling them that I’ll stay if you’ve got a player extra, I’m not feeling well. They ask me if I’m sure, I return, if you’ve got a player extra and can’t fit another one into the cars, I’ll stay.

He says to make myself comfortable then, I won’t make you walk through the cold again now that you’re here. They ask me again if I’m sure, I might fit into the car. I hesitate. It’s your choice they say. Without saying anything else and without me noticing they’re of in the car that just arrived. I’m torn.

As the second car arrives, the driver tells me to jump in, I tell him that I’m ill it’s better if I stay; now even more unsure of whether I should stay or not. I give in as the driver offers me to get in a second time.

One of the guys goes up to the door, I thought then that he was closing it.

We drive off.

Arriving that friend asks if we closed the door, and where the key is. I turn to the guy that I thought closed it. He said he didn’t close it. Now I start to feel bad. What if someone were to rob him blind, it would have been my fault.

On my way home I get a missed call, I call back but it doesn’t connect for some reason. On the Whatsapp group I discover, that the door is locked and that no one has the key.

I walk back to his house, meeting them half way, they ask me if I have the key I answer in the negative. I ask where they are going. They reply the prayer room.

They tell me to call the guy that I thought closed the door, I relay the message on the WhatsApp group that he just sent. The other begins to rant, that I should have stayed at the house;that it was my responsibility to at least lock the door and take the key with me. He is right. I don’t reply.

 

I offer my friend to stay at mine, he refuses. I try to get the number of my accommodation to ask whether he could stay at the emergency room that they have. The other then calls home and offers for him to stay at his, he accepts.

We say Salam and I apologize, both return that it isn’t my fault and I shouldn’t worry about it…

I do though.

 

I should have, could have, would have done thing’s differently but I didn’t. I let my indecisiveness run amok once again, and that is something I need to change about myself. May Allah swt. give him Jannat-ul-Fridaws.

Say Amin!

Amin.

Due to this happening the “Videos? Love em'” post will be uploaded tomorow.

 

Wa Salam,

Abdur-Rahman

Mu610

About Mu610

22 year old German Muslim currently studying at Bradford University in the UK. Born in Marburg, raised in Berlin and spent 5 years in Nottingham then moving to Bradford in September '12. Is fluent in German and English and has some knowledge of French and Arabic, has an interest in learning Japanese, Italian, Spanish, Russian, Chinese and maybe Urdu for now.

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